THE EPILOGUE: TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE

The Epilogue is Keith’s weekly corner of the Southern Spirits world — a place for bourbon, whiskey, spirits, stories, opinions, and whatever else happens to be on the mind of our resident Boozologist.  Expect a mix of industry insight, bottle talk, personal favorites, lessons learned, and the occasional wandering thought from someone who has spent a whole lot of time around good booze.  No scripts. No corporate jargon. Just Keith’s Weekly Musings — poured straight.

 
What an amazing artist Shakespeare was that so many of his works remain so relevant today.  I just don't think the real ex-bachelors of Topeka is going to stand the test of time.  Of course, some of the most often quoted or referenced phrases are removed from their context.  That is true of many quotes because great ideas can rarely be boiled down to a sentence.  Shakespeare didn't get to choose which of his writings would remain in the lexicon, musicians don't get to pick which songs are hits.  Dog Fart is flopping at the movies right now while The Backrooms made millions.  As truth becomes harder and harder to pin down, we are all forced to reckon with what things really mean and really mean to us.  What is the best whiskey?  I get asked that daily.  The best to whom?  The best for what?  Okay but will they know what it is?  It is possible that the recipient who you just labeled as an afficionado will have heard of this distillery that is famous to lovers of whisky, but since you are not a lover of whiskey anyone even requesting a purchase of a bottle looks like a huge whiskey fan to you.  "I hate the stuff, but my son loves it and he really knows his stuff."  He's 22 he doesn't know anything about anything.  He would almost certainly be much happier with a bottle of Southern Comfort than a bottle of a cask strength bourbon.  There is no cutting in line in the development of taste.  You have no clue what good is without the bad and then on top of that your taste is alive and evolving.
 
Back to being true to our own selves!  Shakespeare did not have Hamlet say that line.  Instead he gave it to Polonius, who is not a character that was revered or respected but was a nosy and obnoxious blowhard.  But it sure sounds like a million bucks!  He is giving his son a whole list of advice but that's the one that is now remembered.  Polonius is killed by Hamlet while being a spy which was him being true to himself.   As billions and billions are being dumped into AI every year these folks are trying to create consciousness out of programming power.  But we don't even understand what consciousness is now in ourselves.  Who just wrote that?  Was it me?  The real me?  The most inner me where the good stuff is kept? Who writes the jokes?  The funny me that spends most of his processing power on turning everything into a joke?  Which Keith built and sent Melissa a funny t-shirt?  There is only one Keith.  When I get bad news from the Dr. and want to self sabotage and order a double bacon cheeseburger that's not naughty Keith, that's still just me feeling hurt and confused and wanting the comfort of something known.
 
I used to always use Woodford Reserve as my benchmark. I would try all of these bourbons and then go back to Woodford to just kind of reset everything because it tasted like home to me.  Now I've picked so many single barrels that a standard shelf bottle just doesn't move the needle anymore.  Does that make me a snob or whatever name you want to use?  Whether it does or does not it is just a fact.  I want different, I want engaging, I want my taste boundaries to be challenged and pushed.  Is that being true to my own self?  I think it is.  I spent a lot of time very deliberately trying to guide my sense of taste to this point and I love it here.  I'm not jealous of someone that can just enjoy barefoot chardonnay.  I've had enough things go right for me that I've been able to drink and eat what I'm excited about for a long time.  I can't pop on over to Champagne and drink vintage Ruinart, but I can go to Prime Fish twice a year.  I can try every new low calorie beverage that comes out, constantly searching for one that's interesting and that I look forward to drinking.
 
I do not think we should follow every thought and impulse that pops into our head.  I think we should pay very close attention to the ones that keep appearing.  Whenever I used to go an extended period without writing anything I would start to feel bad.  Then I would sit down and pick out one of the story ideas I had been walking around with and feel better right away.  The Women I asked out were the ones that I walked around thinking about all of the time.  If I find myself very upset about anything I make myself pull back and if that doesn't work I pull back again.  There is always an amount of distance that will frame it differently.  Even if that distance just tells you that you are not going to defeat the injustice in this world so be kind as often as you can.  Or this person or place is lost to you now and so you have to find a different person and a different place that are their very own treasures.
 
I've been honest for better or worse my whole life.  I was never a good liar to begin with my parents and teachers always knew so I was kind of forced into it.  Now, lying just feels like a waste of everyone’s time.  You are afraid of whatever, and now you have to involve other people in your lie.  Where does it end?  I'm not talking about the folks that walk around calling people fat, ugly, lazy, stupid etc. and then say, "hey I'm just being honest, you know me". Today I was watching some agonize over two bad bottles and there is definitely a part of me that wants to go "THESE TWO DISGUSTING BOTTLES ARE MADE WITH CHEMICALS!  Life is too short, just grab one if you must and move along."  But why on earth would I do that?  Who would that help?  They didn't come to the store to be yelled at or even to have it gently explained to them that their whole life is a lie.  They are going to go home and enjoy it!  There is a very real chance that their evening will be greater than my own!  But those thoughts are going to appear in my head and any attempt to stop that from happening is an act of futility.
 
We must put our energy into being the best version of ourselves that we can be.  When you are cranky because you are tired and hungry or both, you have to minimize your interactions with people until you eat and rest.  If you have a headache now is not the best time to fight with your partner.  If I'm in the middle of one of my many road rage episodes it is best for me to not answer the phone.  There have been times where I had to cancel plans because I could tell it was going to be one of those evenings where I was going to be unpleasant to be around and instead, I could watch George Carlin, have a negroni and pet Ryker and then hang out another time.  When I was younger, I would just tell me myself what I should do, who I should be, how I should behave etc. and none of that worked for any length of time.  I wanted to just write a novel but had no plan or skill so I just started putting words on page after page and it was crap.  A few good sentences here and there but mostly just endless drivel. When I switched to short stories it got better but was still mostly bad. I noticed the parts that folks like the most were when I just kind of wrote what I actually wanted to write. I stopped trying to imitate the styles that I felt were real writing and just let myself go. I did the same thing here with The Boozeletter which began its life as “Tastings and New Arrivals” and was pretty fact based with some jokes and strong opinions tossed in. Then the asides got longer and then I just decided at some point to just write whatever I really wanted and that’s why we are here now with William Shakespeare!

Throughout my life I have made a few earnest attempts to be a “normal” person. Sometimes just for an afternoon, sometimes for a whole day. I never felt happy or comfortable doing this and it became very clear to me that I could not live or work that way. It was hard to explain to people because folks assumed that this was a bit or me being stubborn or just crazy. I never felt like mine was the best path or the only path, it was just clear that my life and mental well being improved when I was myself. I have never been another person so I don’t know what’s right or best for you, but I think you should at least try being whoever you are and want to be while you are here. Even if it means being a labeled a weirdo or a misfit. Just try it out and see if you feel better see if life makes more sense. Caring about the things that folks wanted me to care about and acting the way they wanted me to act never made a lick of sense to me, so I decided to just be Keith Haze and make him work as well as possible. Polonius probably wanted to be a very wise man but didn’t have the ability and instead his baser instincts lead him to his demise. My baser instincts lead me to lots of Doritos and talking trash on the internets. You know what my friend Melissa did yesterday? She stayed late at her job so her coworker could take their vacation earlier! She said she wanted to emulate Dolly and I told her I want to emulate her. Rainbows for everyone.